


places we won't walk

by clumsyclouds



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fix-It of Sorts, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Shiro (Voltron), Light Angst, M/M, Songfic, i mean adam still be dead but at least we get to see shiro mourning like he should have in season 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 10:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15861696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clumsyclouds/pseuds/clumsyclouds
Summary: this is a fix-it of sorts, we get to see shiro actually mourning adami also just wanted to make myself cry a bitthe fic is based on a song called "places we won't walk" by bruno major and you should definitely listen to it while reading! its just such an adashi song, and it's just generally really sweet, despite being melancholy.





	places we won't walk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing could really fully explain the heartbreak that Shiro felt at seeing Adam’s name on the memorial wall. He sank to his knees, hand remaining on the plate. Tears fell and sobs tore through his chest. It was painful, physically painful and there was no way to properly describe it. They all fell short. It felt like his heart was being slowly torn out of his chest, mangled, punched and ripped apart. As if his soul were being shattered, like a sledgehammer to a mirror. But even _then_ , it wasn’t accurate enough.

 

_He said not to expect him to be there once you came home. You set yourself up for disappointment._

 

The taunting words haunted his head, echoing around like in an empty cave, reminding him of his failure. He took Adam for granted. He thought that he’d come back, he’d come back and Adam would be angry at him and Shiro would fix it. There was no fixing it now. He was too late and now there was nothing left of him, no body, no trace, nothing.

 

His mind began drifting, and while usually, he tried to keep his focus, he let himself drift. If he didn’t, he wasn’t sure if his sanity would hold out.

 

____________________

 

Somewhere, far away, the sun shone in a garden, creating little flecks of light that fell onto the green grass. You could see the golden rays of light dancing, jumping, scattering on the green leaves. Always moving, never the same, as the gentle breeze rustled the leaves.

 

Red birds chirped on those very trees, hopping from branch to branch, singing their working song as they gathered food for their young ones. They created a beautiful contrast to all of the green, a beautiful red shining through. Like little specks skittering around and filling the air with just a bit more song and life.

 

To be a bird was to be free. If only you’re wary of the danger surrounding you. You can be happy and free without being naive.

 

In the bushes, flowers of every colour speckled their vision. Bees faintly buzzed in and out of each flower, collecting and leaving pollen as was the circle of life—their job. Not to mention how completely innocent and beautiful they were while doing it.

 

It was a place far out of reach and a place that he and Adam wouldn’t walk. A memory that was meant to happen, but never did. An experience longing to be born, but would never see the light.

 

____________________

 

Shiro remembered that he promised to take Adam to New York City. He’d only gone for business and had never seen the beautiful neon lights that the bright city had to offer. He’d only been there in passing, during the daytime.

 

He promised Adam that together they’d watch the skyscrapers and feel dizzy as they tried to see the tops of the buildings. Remembering how small they truly were in this world, but that it was okay. It was okay because, together, they were infinite. Adam would tease him and tell him that he was a fucking sap and that he was too cheesy. He’d like it, though. Shiro would notice it in the way his eyes would soften upon seeing Shiro’s lovestruck smile.

 

He promised him that they’d go to see how the city truly never slept. How people were alive even at night, and how the steady thrumming of the city could be felt despite the sun having set long ago. Shiro promised that Adam would feel the heartbeat of the city beating in his own chest. There would be food vendors at every corner, street performers on every square, cars honking and yelling and despite it being angry there would be something amusing about it. Then the Time Square would be lit up with bright billboards bearing meaningless advertisements. It was beautiful for the lights, not because there was a new coke flavour. As well as people walking the sidewalks, drunk, heading to or coming home from a club, partying just to feel alive.

 

Except, it would never happen. Shiro had been too late, and he broke his own promise. It was yet another memory, lost to fatal mistakes; yet another place they wouldn’t walk.

 

____________________

 

He’d dreamed a dream once, together with Adam he visualised it.

 

He’d wear a white suit, shirt and tie, and Adam would wear the same. On the ground there’d be soft, pink rose petals gracing a tent, fairy lights would give off a soft glow and the ocean breeze would blow through their hair. Adam would reach up to stroke a stray tuft of hair out of his face.

 

Both of their families would watch and everyone would be able to feel the deep, warming, bright love that they held for each other. Awe would be written over all of their faces and hopefully some tears, as well. He knew Adam’s mother would be crying and it was almost as if he could hear her saying that she was proud of them both.

 

Bands of gold would be wrapped around their fingers, touching gently, almost tickling, but grounding, still. Reminding them of their bond to each other, their promises.

 

In a sense, they felt so small. But through their promises, through those two words and three letters, they would become larger than themselves. He felt like more, simply _more_ whenever he was with Adam. He felt like he was more important than just himself.

 

Shiro wasn’t good with romance, he was a disaster in fact, but he was sure that they were soulmates. He could feel it, in his chest, that they were destined for heights that they would only reach together.

 

Later on that evening he’d dreamt they would walk down the shore, waves gently splashing up, wetting their bare feet. Sand would slip through their toes and they would be reminded that time was like that very sand. It slipped through their fingers, disappearing with every second and there was nothing they could do to stop it. Only, time wasn’t important when they had all of the rest of their lives to be together. It wouldn’t matter.

 

Except, they never walked on that beach. They never had their families look on in awe, no fairy lights to glow under. No bands of gold to tie them together. That midnight promenade on the shore was yet another place that they wouldn’t walk.

 

____________________

 

In a different universe, where none of this had happened, he saw laughing children. Children with scraped knees and two fathers to take care of them. Children with toothy grins and broken arms and graduations and heartbreaks and family dinners and hugs and Christmases and birthdays and…

 

Fathers with graying hair. Sitting on their porch, watching as all their children slowly but surely, departed, looking back to their fathers one last time. A loving, yet sad smile on each of their lips as they drove away. Sometimes, with even a few tears.

 

Together, these two fathers would end their days with smiles before closing their eyes and falling asleep, closely embraced in each other’s arms.

 

That was a future for Shiro that he himself destroyed. He never intended to ruin his own future that way, but he did. All because he took Adam’s love for granted.

 

In that future, their children’s first steps were just another place they wouldn’t walk.

 

____________________

 

“Shiro, the briefing is in ten minutes... If you don’t come, I’ll cover for you. I get it, but…we need you,” Keith said, placing a grounding hand on his brother’s shoulder. Shiro hadn’t even noticed that someone had arrived in the room, too lost in places they wouldn’t walk.

 

Keith’s steps became more and more quiet with every second, until they were gone.

 

His hand slipped from the wall, falling limp onto the floor. He felt hopeless, like life had taken everything from him.

 

It took his innocence.

 

It took his sanity away.

 

It took his hope and joy for the future, now he only feared every coming day. Feared more destruction.

 

It took his future as he knew it, as he’d always known it.

 

It took his arm.

 

And now? It took away the one thing that he’d fought so hard to stay alive for. He had stayed alive for many reasons, but none as hard as this. He stayed alive for Keith, for his team, for Voltron, for the universe. But he _fought_ for his life so that he could get back to Earth, to _Adam_ and make things _right_.

 

Still, he stood up anyway.

 

His feet moved, hand pushing him up. He looked once more at the name and then stopped. He had plenty to be alive for. Because while life had stripped him of everything, it had given a lot, as well. He was alive despite dying, despite being thrown into a gladiator pit, despite facing war everyday.

 

He got a new family, people that he knew he could trust with his life, and that trusted him with theirs.

 

He found love, maybe not romantic love, but love nonetheless. Beautiful, warm, familial love.

 

He got to see the universe, though he wished that it could have been under better circumstances, he got to see completely different cultures and people. He got to see space anomalies that he couldn’t even begin to explain. He saw stars dying and being born, saw nebulas with the most striking colour schemes.

 

It didn’t make up for all he’d lost, but it reminded him to continue fighting for all that was good, because there was still so much good.

 

So he turned away from the wall and took another step. And another, and another, until he reached the door. He hesitated to turn the doorknob, Shiro wanted to run away and hide, never to look up from his sheets ever again, but it would help no one. They all needed him, and so he would be strong. Just until he could sleep.

 

Adam would never take another step, but Shiro could. Shiro could continue fighting for what was right, and for his family. For his planet, for his people, for the universe. Shiro could take another step forward despite wanting to break down into a million pieces.

 

One day, he would even visit all the places that he and Adam wouldn’t walk, if only with the hope that his spirit followed. Seeing all the places that they never walked.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first published voltron fic, so i hope it is to people's liking! 
> 
> i'm also currently working on a klance fic. basically a canon-compliant, getting together slowburn, the first chapter should be out in a couple of weeks, so look forward to that i guess? 
> 
> thank you for reading, make sure to leave a kudos and a comment if you enjoyed it. :)
> 
> i also want to thank my immensely talented and kind beta who helped me with this fic and will help me with the klance one as well! you can find her on tumblr @atrickoflight


End file.
